Today marks the start of National Infertility Awareness Week. This has made me think a lot about my story. My life story.You see, my life story seems to be turning out a little differently than I had planned. From the time I was young, I just assumed that I would get married, live in a nice house, have babies and become a good mother. So far I have ticked off the husband, and the house. But the babies and motherhood have not been so easy to tick off.
At this point my life story seems to have veered rapidly off the course that I had planned. No where in my life story had I expected to be confronted with infertility...or to be stuck in a never ending cycle of hope and despair... or to watch all my friends become mothers while I watched on .
So now, I need to rectify the "old life story" and my "real life story." There is quite a discrepancy between the two. I am starting to realise that my "real life story" isn't a worse one, it is just a different one.
It is a story in which I have discovered the true meaning of love...hanging in there through the difficult times with Brian, and trying to make the most of our imperfect lives together. Yes, we have been tested, but we have grown stronger, as a couple, as a result.
It is a story of endurance...Persevering just when I thought I couldn't take another step forward.
It is a story of honesty...Coming to terms with our physical and psychological imperfections.
It is a story of friendship...Realising that I have amazing friends who care for me, and will support and guide me through this. Heather and Marlo have been my rock. Thank you for letting me crying, letting me laugh, not being afraid to ask questions, the phone calls, the prayers, and the never ending support. It means more than you will ever know.
It is a story of compassion...I have experienced compassion from many of you, my friends and family. I have also developed a deeper level of compassion.
It is a story of forgiveness...Forgiving friends and family when they make unhelpful comments, or when they aren't as supportive as I had expected.
It is a story of strength...Learning to walk tall through the nightmare of infertility.
It is a story of courage...Being brave enough to put my heart on the line and try infertility treatments, even if they don't work out.
It is a story of patience...Learning that God's delays aren't necessarily God's denials.
And finally, it is a story of hope...Believing that God has a plan for me in this mess, and that one day I will come through.
Perhaps like me, your life story has turned out differently to what you had imagined. But I think it is still a beautiful story.
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