Thankful Thursday...

Today I am thankful for Growth....

I know that every late October and early November for the rest of my life will turn me into a sentimental, sobby mess. I reflect back to where we were 2 years ago at this time and I am struck by the contrast of where we were then and where we are now.

Two years ago, Brian and I were in a very dark place. We had been trying to have a baby for several years. We had been on a nightmarish roller coaster of infertility treatments since the beginning of the year. Month after month, we experience fear, excitement, anticipation, disappointment, and nervousness all in one not-so-neat little package. We were in the midst of our IVF cycle. I was pumped full of hormones and had a hard time dealing with much of anything. We went to my pre-op appointment and met with my doctor the day before Halloween. I clearly remember her being dressed as "Thing 2" from Dr. Seuss.

One year ago, I was still in the post-partum haze. We had become parents to a perfect baby girl. I felt so incredibly blessed. I was still in shock that Sara was ours and we got to keep her forever. I cried every single day in those first months. I was joyously overwhelmed. I had been back at work for a couple of weeks and trying to figure everything out. The work was the same, but it felt so different. I knew that because God chose to answer our prayers and bless us with a child, I wanted to be a mother just as much as an employee. I didn't want to miss anything, but how on earth could I do both? This year, we had a beautiful baby of our own to dress up for Halloween. Our little Sara cow.

This year, I'm still trying to figure out how to juggle it all. Some days I'm not the model employee and some days I'm not the model mother. On the worst of days, I'm neither model mother or employee. But, I keep trying. I am still joyously overwhelmed. I am a mother and Brian is a father. Our days with Sara keep getting better and better. She is just so much fun! So, as we passed out candy and partook in the festivities of Halloween, I sat back and drank it all in. How on earth did I get so lucky. Lucky I am, and so, so grateful.